Thoughts....
I know you will all be happy to hear I have recovered from Saturday's drug overdose. However, my back is still sore from sleeping for thirteen hours straight. I guess I really am a grown up now!!!
I don't really have much to say, this is an obligatory entry to appease those poor unfortunate folks who derive their only daily pleasure from reading my insane ramblings. Hi Kristie!! But I will make an attempt to be witty and wise and thought provoking, without actually saying anything really meaningful!
Police Blotter: Two weeks ago, the first blurb under theft went as follows: two armed gunmen entered a business brandishing weapons. They looked frightened, then turned around and left the building. Whoa, they were so impressive, they scared themselves!! Like they were so stoned, they didn't think it all the way through and then when they found themselves actually pointing a gun at someone, they freaked out. The first rule of armed robbery is Nerves OF Steel!!! Helloooooo, doofus, you're the scary one with the gun, not me!!! I'm thinking these two will not be making a living from armed robbery.
Or how about Lucky Bucks getting held up at gunpoint? Also by two armed gun men, but not the same ones, since they actually pointed their guns at someone before getting chased out of the store! Lucky Bucks is a Dollar plus store, which means some of their items are two dollars. Now I don't know about you, but if I am going to the trouble to procure a gun and risk imprisonment, I am going to hold up something really big, like a bank or at least a liquor store. A Dollar Store????? How much money did these morons think they were actually going to get?? Fortunately, they were apprehended right around the corner from me, so those dollar gift bags are safe for another day!!
Last weeks police blotter listed several items stolen during a home invasion: lunchmeat; cheese; and bread. A burglar with an appetite! Oh no, it's the Lunchmeat Bandit! Oscar Mayer beware, you may be next!!!
Enough police blotter. Yesterday, several of us took our girls to Cullman to visit the convent. The girls performed their talent show act which was the Hail Holy Queen routine from "Sister Act". They did a great job and the sisters were suitably impressed. The convent was lovely and the sisters couldn't have been nicer. Brides of Christ and all that.
I lived up to my high standards of grace and dignity by dropping a full 2 liter bottle of diet coke on the floor. It had to be placed in a sink and opened so 3/4 of its contents could erupt into the air. Classic me!! The lady was very nice about it, and she even poured my drink for me. Of course that was probably because she didn't want me handling the bottle anymore, but whatever.
Roseanna's mom Donna took flowers for the sisters. After we toured the cemetery, Abby very helpfully advised Sister Madeline that as soon as she died, we could place those very flowers on her grave. Sister was somewhat taken aback, but thanked Abby very graciously for the thought. That Abby is always looking ahead!
We had a nice time nonetheless. I have watched a few too many Haunted Destination specials on the Travel Channel lately and I kept looking for ghostly nuns wafting through the chapel. I felt sure there must have been a couple of murders or suicides or something, but I never saw a single ghost. I must confess I was extremely disappointed not to find at least one ghostly novice weeping in her cell after being locked away for having a wild affair with the milkman. Sister Agatha Lazarus, the mother superior at the time, had her bricked into her room with no food and water to repent of her sins only the novice hanged herself with her rosary from a crevice in the bricks and Sister Agatha had a heart attack and died when they found the body, and now they both wander the halls, the novice looking for her lost love and Sister Agatha looking for someone else to punish. Sigh, unfortunately, my imagination is way more interesting than real life!!!
Ok, well enough of my rambling for now. Maybe I can hook the ghostly novice up with Chrysanthemum and write a real novel!!
