You Can Dress Me Up....
I went to meet my friend Karen for lunch today. We met at Edgar's Baker over in Patton Creek. We have been trying to get together for two months now, but our schedules never meshed. But today we meshed!
Let me slip into snooty food critic mode here for a moment. I ordered the pecan chicken salad, which the menu described as grilled chicken on a bed of mixed greens, cranberries and pecans, topped with a raspberry vinaigrette. The salad was huge and arranged beautifully on the plate. The chicken was grilled perfectly, juicy and fork tender, and very lightly seasoned. The mixed greens, however, were overpowered by raddichio. A bit of raddichio is fine, but a plate full is just too much. Plus, raddichio sounds like one of the Unforgivable Curses from Harry Potter, so it's just that much less palatable. My only other complaint is the pecans were not toasted, so they really didn't do much for the salad.
Still, it was a good salad, very healthy and very full of fiber. After lunch, we ordered dessert. I chose the chocolate roulage, which, although very good, was not up to Cobb Lane standards. The cake was a bit tough and chewy, rather than moist. The whipped filling was plentiful and good.
Karen and I were having an absolutely lovely time together. Just two nice ladies, lunching together on the town in a refined sort of way. Alas, as usual, I managed to kick it down a couple of notches. That chock full of fiber salad made it's way through my digestive tract in record time and started a sort of rumbling which could not be ignored. I finally had to overcome my aversion to using public restrooms for "number 2" and I excused myself to the bathroom.
I took care of business in record time. I also blew my nose a lot; summer allergies you know. So when I stood to flush, the toilet made an ominous noise and the contents started bubbling up like some frightful witches brew, instead of disappearing down into the depths.
Now I don't know about you, but this is absolutely one of the top 10 most horrific things that can happen! I chalk it right up there with passing out naked in the shower and having to be removed by really hot paramedics who are not at all turned on by my cellulite and stretch marks. Fortunately, there was a plunger next to the toilet. Evidently, Edgar's has experienced this difficulty before.
I grabbed the plunger and plunged, but it was a Dollar Store plunger and it DID NOTHING!!! All it did was stir the contents around a little. I stared in horror and for just a second, my panic stricken brain registered a perfect silhouette of Adolf Hitler outlined in the contents.
At this point, I started to giggle, because I knew Karen was out in the restaurant, wondering just what the hell was I doing. I started plunging more frantically, to no avail. That shit (no pun intended) was just not going anywhere! I plunged and giggled, plunged and giggled, and the more I plunged, the harder I giggled. If anyone had been outside the restroom, which thank you Jesus, was a one holer, she would have thought I was having an epileptic fit!!
I finally managed to get the solid contents to disappear, but the toilet still would not flush. At that point, still giggling maniacally, I decided it was Edgar's problem. After all, I had handled the hard part!! Still giggling, I wrenched open the door, and there was Karen, standing there with my purse, looking at me like I was nuts!!
Fortunately, Karen's sense of humor is as warped as my own, and we giggled together all the way out to the parking lot. So if you visit the Edgar's in Patton Creek, eat a lot of cheese before you go and don't order the chicken salad!!!
