Eat More Chikin
Ok, like I don't have enough to worry about in my life, now we have mad cow disease in Alabama??? My family eats nothing but beef all day long! We do not eat chicken at all. On the rare occasions I do fix it, my family reacts in horror, like I'm trying to serve them ground up gopher feces, dressed up in a nice cream of mushroom soup sauce and topped with Ritz cracker crumbs(doesn't everything sit better on a ritz????) And with bird flu about to become pandemic (any second now!), chicken may not be the best option either. Tofu anyone??
So what I am supposed to do now? How will I convert my family of carnivores over to white meat? Or the other white meat for that matter, being pork for those of you who don't keep up with ad campaigns. If it doesn't have red blood dripping from it when they bite into it, they are not interested. Even Anna likes her steak on the rarer side of medium. Josh won't eat it if it's not pink! We have no worries about our cholesterol; no, we just have to worry about whether our brains are developing little holes in them!!!
What is the world coming to? Mad Cow, Bird Flu, postal workers on the rampage, girls gone wild, and Dick Cheney shooting off his political cronies. Pretty soon, we'll probably find out that the foreskin was necessary after all and we've mutilated millions of innocent babies. Probably, the foreskin protects against bird flu and mad cow, as well as AIDS and all those other unpleasant STD's.
I throw my hands up in disgust. I am off to Amazon to buy an organic, vegan cookbook!!!
