dailydiatribes

I wandered into the bathroom this morning and found Tim pawing through his sock drawer.  He kept holding different socks up to the light and tsking.  Finally I asked him what the problem was.

"Whoever sorted these socks did a terrible job," he complained.  "None of them match."

That's when I had to share the bad news with him.  I can't believe he didn't see it on CNN or Fox already, since it's been on all the major news outlets.  The sock sorters union, fed up with management's refusals to meet its demands, has gone on strike.  This has upset households all over the United States.  Athletic socks, dress socks, ankle socks, crew socks and tube socks are jumbled together in a shapeless mass until the sock sorters go back to work.

R. Gyle, president of the sock sorters union, vowed there would be no socks sorted until managment acceded to a lengthy list of demands.  "For too long," R. Gyle said, "we have suffered in silence, spending 8 to 10 hours a day in cramped, poorly lit laundry rooms, sorting socks with little or no recognition for our efforts.  Our backs are ruined, our fingers are arthritic and our eyesight has suffered from spending endless hours trying to match toe seams.  It ends today.  If you want someone to sort the navy socks from the black socks, you better be prepared to pay!"

CNN was able to obtain a list of the union's demands, which included requests for a significant increase in the labor force, more spacious folding areas (possibly located in that mansion in Southlake I've been looking at), and increased benefits, including a more generous lunch allowance.

Many families are already feeling the pain.  Tim Brunner was interviewed at work wearing a Tommy Hilfiger ankle sock and a navy blue dress sock.  "I can't believe this," he said to reporters.  "I can't find two socks that match.  I had no idea it was such a skilled job."

R. Gyle has promised to keep the picket lines going until sock sorters get the benefits and the respect they deserve.  "No one else wants to do this job," he told reporters.  "So I feel confident we can resolve the issue without compromising our demands."