Thursday, March 29, 2007

Arise Lazarus, and Walk....

HALLELUJAH!!!  A MIRACLE HAS OCCURRED!!!  STRIPES HAS RETURNED FROM THE DEAD!!!

Upon discovering his tiny corpse this morning, parched and dry, his miniscule tongue lolling out to one side, I dumped some water over him in an effort to conceal my crime.  I did not want the blonde goddess to know I was responsible for the death of Stripes.  Although, all she has to do is walk past the dead pansies on the porch to know how good I am at providing water to living things.

Well, I went up to get the dirty laundry out of Josh's bathroom and LO, STRIPES HAD MOVED!!  His feet were splayed out and his head was out of his shell.  And I didn't even have to give him mouth to mouth!

Needless to say, this afternoon's funeral festivities have been cancelled.  Too bad, because I had already bought the drink ingredients!  However, if you would like to come over for a healing session with the great resuscitator, give me a call; I will be performing miracles between the hours of 7 and 9 and I accept all major credit cards!!

Posted by Jennifer at 12:59:25 | Permanent Link | Comments (13) |
Comments
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1 - Bury Stripes anyway and let the blonde goddess watch her 'dead' stripes claw his way out of his earthen grave... give her a memory that will last a lifetime. (Comment this)

Written by: bice at 2007/03/29 - 14:08:24
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2 - Wow, Bice, who'd have thunk it....you're more twisted than me!!!! I love that about you! (Comment this)

Written by: Jennifer at 2007/03/29 - 14:14:43
3 - Hey, can ya heal a twisted ovary? It'd save me a lot of time. I have visa!? (Comment this)

Written by: Teensy at 2007/03/29 - 17:29:51
4 - HEAL!!! Maybe Jen can lay hands like the exorcism I witnessed at Children's Hospital last week. (Comment this)

Written by: Andrea at 2007/03/29 - 19:03:42
5 - Praise Jesus! Ans I told you to flush him! Hearttless wonder I am, it is a good thing you held off until the blonde goddess got home. I was secretyly hopin she would forget about him altogether. You'd better start taking better care. I still don't understand why Josh can't do this job, after all, Stripes is on the back of his toilet tank!!!!
How about a cute little bunny or, even better, a duck or chick for Easter, Grandma!! (Comment this)

Written by: Kiki at 2007/03/29 - 20:18:40
6 - I agree, Kiki, the dogs need a new chew toy. Bunny! Bunny!! BUNNY!!! ;) (Comment this)

Written by: Gina at 2007/03/29 - 22:23:34
7 - Hey, my mom got a baby duck at Easter for a pet when she was a little girl. So cute she said, it followed her like a puppy. Then the family went out of town for Thanksgiving. Came home and the neighbors said they couldn't find the duck! Years later, we were all at my grandparents when my grandfather decided to tell my mom what happened to her beloved pet. He gave the neighbors permission to eat it for Thanksgiving dinner!!!! Yeah, go for the bunny!!!! (Comment this)

Written by: Teensy at 2007/03/30 - 07:48:29
8 - "Go for the bunny", then it's rabbit stew for Thanksgiving. I would suggest turtle soup, but with that pygmy of a turtle named Stripes, it would be turtle-soup-in-a-thimble. (Comment this)

Written by: Renee at 2007/03/30 - 09:22:19
9 - "Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes,
They got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses,
And what's with all the carrots?
What do they need such good eyesight for anyway?
Bunnies, bunnies, it must be bunnies!
Or maybe midgets..."

Perhaps you should stick with the turtle. And once you're dead, we'll send the evidence of miracle cure to the Pope. St. Jennifer. That has a nice ring to it. :) (Comment this)

Written by: Kathy at 2007/03/30 - 17:43:02
10 - Jennifer,

There's this chick on Kathy's blog named Full Court who I bet is real big on raisings from the dead. Maybe you guys could go into business together......maybe Dr. Renee Medicine Woman could join in as well......... (Comment this)

Written by: Bill at 2007/04/01 - 17:45:21
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