dailydiatribes

I thought I better rush to assure you gentle reader that Renee gave me drugs of only the most legal, non addictive, non mind altering sort.  I believe it is Sulfatrim or something like that and it's an antibiotic.  Whatever it's called, it seems to be doing the trick because my nose has slowed down to a steady drip instead of a flash flood!  Renee is the premier family doctor in the greater Birmingham area so call her for all your health care needs!

So today Anna gets up and does the whole rolling around on the floor "my stomach hurts" act and then manages to produce a bowel movement that was slightly loose so she is home with me today.  I can hardly contain my rapture.  And God did not even speak to me through the BM (you'll understand after you read the book Renee!!!)

I was up most of the night because one of the wonder drugs I was given, Clarinex, revved me up, so at 1:00 a.m. I was ready to party!  I played on the computer for an hour, read a book, cursed my life, tossed and turned and finally got to sleep around 4:00 a.m.  Ok, my fault, I thought I could handle the drug, but apparently not.  Now I am zombified and home with a sick child.

Tim came home yesterday in a car I like to call the "Mid Life Crisis Mobile", or to the layman, a white Porsche convertible.  His car was in the shop, so our friend Greg gave him the convertible to drive.  What a pal!  Of course Tim is now trying to figure out how to purchase it.  I told him to go ahead, he had my blessing, but the first official trip made in the car would be to the jewelry store where I am going to pick out a ring that is no less than two carats and it isn't going to be one of those tacky diamond clusters.  Oh hell no, it's gonna be a rock so big I have to get a sling to hold my arm up!!  We'll see what happens.

Yesterday I received two hoax emails:  one about the boycotting Citgo because it's owned by Venezuela and the other was about sending Christmas cards to the ACLU because it's trying to eliminate Christmas.  Why do people feel the need to forward that stuff?  And when I sent the Snopes link to the Citgo offender and advised her to check it, she said she didn't have time. 

Well, I don't have time to read bogus emails, so don't send them to me!!  And the same goes for prayers.  I love to pray; God and I converse every day, although not through my bowel movements.  But I do not feel any holier by forwarding an internet prayer to nine people in the next five minutes.  So far, no miracles have been achieved by performing that action.  I am not a size 2, Osama Bin Laden has not been found, and my breasts have not magically been lifted back up to their original anatomical position.  So just know if you forward me a prayer, I am going to run the risk of eternal damnation and hit delete!

Well, Anna is now dancing around the room with a feather duster singing the "Fairly Oddparents" theme song, so I guess it's going to be a long day!!  She is going to be in for a real shock when she realizes I am dead serious about the no playing outside when you miss school rule!!!